08.01.2019. Iniyavan Mathiyalagan
“When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.”
-L.R.Knost, Author
Traits of talking back, disobedience, arrogance and disrespect among kids are in popular culture termed as “Attitude problem”. “Attitude”, as commonly perceived, is really not a very bad thing to possess, rather can help the kid in a lot of positive ways. Nevertheless, it takes a lot of effort and proactive parenting in keeping your child’s attitude at check.
Over-confidence
When I mentioned that attitude does help the child, I meant how it makes him/her a confident and an independent person. But the problem arises when the kids get carried away by their decisions or achievements. They tend to become over-confident through the trajectory of time. The key here, is to teach them humility; to make them aware of the possibilities of failures and flaws. I’m not suggesting that you break their confidence, rather implying the fact that over-confidence and rudeness do overlap each other.
Imposing rules vs laying values
An inquisitive kid often opts to break rules. As a parent one must understand the vigorous energy underlying such acts of defiance. Defiance is again a positive trait that helps the kid to become more innovative. It is often such kids who come up with breathtaking ideas. At the same time, it is important to teach them values which would give them a better framework to see and understand things. In simpler terms, instead of imposing rules on your kids, you can choose to teach morals and values and enable them to decide and act upon wisely.
The art of disagreeing
Yes, it’s quite exhausting to hear your kid talk back. However, one must need courage to say “no”, which your kid possesses. So, the strategy here is to just train your kid in that art. Parents should often discuss with kids and bring about a debate where both the parties can either agree or disagree. The kid will eventually develop the skill to think rationally instead of defying unreasonably. “Disagreement with rationality” keeps a check on the kid’s rudeness and helps him/her develop a fruitful relationship with relatives, friends and teachers as well.
Respect the Kid
Respect is a two-way behavior. As a parent it is your responsibility that your kid’s self-respect is not at stake. Listen to them. They do have a lot of important things to say. They are going through a lot of emotional turbulence as well. They do deserve a lot of attention, trust, love and respect. That is how they learn to trust, love and respect others.